Year 4
Apprehension. The feeling I have in this moment and about this upcoming year. About my final looming co-op semester, and graduation, the end of this all. I'm not ready. Not yet.
This past year has taken me all around the world. I spent time in Atlanta, New York, Nashville, Thanksgiving in Canada, co-op in Chicago, New York again, and two weeks this spring in Paris and Rome. For all the distance that I have covered, a part of me still feels like I am back in square one.
Design has been… everything to me. I love it and I hate it. I feel freed by it and subsequently confined by it. I thought I knew what I wanted and now I don’t. Life is unbelievably frustrating in this way.
I spent my third co-op semester with Proctor and Gamble here in Cincinnati. I worked as a brand management intern on the Dish Care team, working on Dawn and Cascade. The people were pragmatic and ambitious. I was convinced that I would work at P&G after graduation and that I wanted to get my MBA.
I spent my fourth co-op semester with Doblin in Chicago, an innovation design firm. I worked on multi-disciplinary teams as a design consultant, working with a wide range of clients. It was a research-intensive design environment, heavily influenced by strategy and behavioral design. The people were intelligent and incredibly interesting. I was convinced that I did not want to go back to P&G and that I wanted to get a Masters in Design Strategy.
So that leaves me here, about to embark on my final co-op search, a million ideas running through my head. I feel like I have no way to articulate them, to convey them, to assert what I think I want. Because I don’t know what I want. I don’t know quite where I belong or what exactly I want to be doing. I don’t know where I am going to go or who I am going to be. However, I do know that each of my experiences has brought me a few steps closer to where I want to be.
I want to make a difference with my design. I want to solve real world problems; to be involved in strategic initiatives and not just aesthetic improvement. This is something that I really learned at Doblin. I loved the process. Of how strategy and insight can lead to design and how design doesn’t have to, shouldn’t ever be, in a silo. I am a constantly curious person, always asking why and delving into purpose. So frequently now, looking back, have I been involved in design without purpose. I want to make a difference for people. To design for people. I want, in my own way, to change the world.
I don’t know if the career I am looking for exists. Or what it’s called. Or what I would be doing. And that scares me. That scares me because I have been building a foundation for four years and earning a degree that has lead me to more questions. I believe that design is fundamental to what I want to do. I know that it is the foundation that I needed but it is one that I am slowly expanding. I want to do more. I want to be part of a broader process. I want to have a larger impact. I want to be a strategist, a storyteller, an innovator, a creative, a writer, a cook, and a designer. I want to see how all of these things, these passions, these interests can play together. I don’t know where I am going next.
I would love to go abroad or start my career working internationally. To live and work and explore a new country. I want to take advantage of the one opportunity that I have missed out on in college. Study abroad. I will never stop travelling. I find so much inspiration from new cultures and new places. I am passionate about people and human interaction, the way that communication can transcend language is fascinating to me. This is a concept that I am pursuing with my capstone, the idea of living better together. An exhibition and space to create conversation and empathy, to ultimately drive social change. We are all human, and yet we have lost our sense of humanity. I want to remove fear and boundaries and explore the power of bringing people together. Seeing what happens when two strangers have a conversation.
People may say that my goals to find meaning in my work and a job that I am proud to do impractical right out of school. Thinking that taking the time after graduation to search and find what I want to do is foolhardy. Because we are all just naïve millennials these days. But I disagree, I don’t want to spend a year or two years somewhere if it will in no way lead me to the road that I want to go down. If it doesn’t bring me fulfillment or provide the work environment and the challenges that I am searching for. It could be an amazing job, with great benefits and mobility and opportunities to earn my MBA and climb the corporate ladder. But my priorities are shifting, my lenses growing. I am seeing my place in the world change.
I want to make a difference. I want to be involved in a role broader than design. I want to travel and to explore new places. And most importantly I want to be happy. I don’t know where I am going to be in September, or come August. I don’t know what I am going to be doing. I don’t even know if I will have found what I am looking for. But I am on my way. And I will get there. Eventually.
This past year has taken me all around the world. I spent time in Atlanta, New York, Nashville, Thanksgiving in Canada, co-op in Chicago, New York again, and two weeks this spring in Paris and Rome. For all the distance that I have covered, a part of me still feels like I am back in square one.
Design has been… everything to me. I love it and I hate it. I feel freed by it and subsequently confined by it. I thought I knew what I wanted and now I don’t. Life is unbelievably frustrating in this way.
I spent my third co-op semester with Proctor and Gamble here in Cincinnati. I worked as a brand management intern on the Dish Care team, working on Dawn and Cascade. The people were pragmatic and ambitious. I was convinced that I would work at P&G after graduation and that I wanted to get my MBA.
I spent my fourth co-op semester with Doblin in Chicago, an innovation design firm. I worked on multi-disciplinary teams as a design consultant, working with a wide range of clients. It was a research-intensive design environment, heavily influenced by strategy and behavioral design. The people were intelligent and incredibly interesting. I was convinced that I did not want to go back to P&G and that I wanted to get a Masters in Design Strategy.
So that leaves me here, about to embark on my final co-op search, a million ideas running through my head. I feel like I have no way to articulate them, to convey them, to assert what I think I want. Because I don’t know what I want. I don’t know quite where I belong or what exactly I want to be doing. I don’t know where I am going to go or who I am going to be. However, I do know that each of my experiences has brought me a few steps closer to where I want to be.
I want to make a difference with my design. I want to solve real world problems; to be involved in strategic initiatives and not just aesthetic improvement. This is something that I really learned at Doblin. I loved the process. Of how strategy and insight can lead to design and how design doesn’t have to, shouldn’t ever be, in a silo. I am a constantly curious person, always asking why and delving into purpose. So frequently now, looking back, have I been involved in design without purpose. I want to make a difference for people. To design for people. I want, in my own way, to change the world.
I don’t know if the career I am looking for exists. Or what it’s called. Or what I would be doing. And that scares me. That scares me because I have been building a foundation for four years and earning a degree that has lead me to more questions. I believe that design is fundamental to what I want to do. I know that it is the foundation that I needed but it is one that I am slowly expanding. I want to do more. I want to be part of a broader process. I want to have a larger impact. I want to be a strategist, a storyteller, an innovator, a creative, a writer, a cook, and a designer. I want to see how all of these things, these passions, these interests can play together. I don’t know where I am going next.
I would love to go abroad or start my career working internationally. To live and work and explore a new country. I want to take advantage of the one opportunity that I have missed out on in college. Study abroad. I will never stop travelling. I find so much inspiration from new cultures and new places. I am passionate about people and human interaction, the way that communication can transcend language is fascinating to me. This is a concept that I am pursuing with my capstone, the idea of living better together. An exhibition and space to create conversation and empathy, to ultimately drive social change. We are all human, and yet we have lost our sense of humanity. I want to remove fear and boundaries and explore the power of bringing people together. Seeing what happens when two strangers have a conversation.
People may say that my goals to find meaning in my work and a job that I am proud to do impractical right out of school. Thinking that taking the time after graduation to search and find what I want to do is foolhardy. Because we are all just naïve millennials these days. But I disagree, I don’t want to spend a year or two years somewhere if it will in no way lead me to the road that I want to go down. If it doesn’t bring me fulfillment or provide the work environment and the challenges that I am searching for. It could be an amazing job, with great benefits and mobility and opportunities to earn my MBA and climb the corporate ladder. But my priorities are shifting, my lenses growing. I am seeing my place in the world change.
I want to make a difference. I want to be involved in a role broader than design. I want to travel and to explore new places. And most importantly I want to be happy. I don’t know where I am going to be in September, or come August. I don’t know what I am going to be doing. I don’t even know if I will have found what I am looking for. But I am on my way. And I will get there. Eventually.